


Zoophobia

by felisblanco



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-27
Updated: 2004-07-27
Packaged: 2018-10-19 16:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10643313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisblanco/pseuds/felisblanco
Summary: Angel and Spike at the zoo, catching magical monkeys. Yeah, I don't know either.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, writing the drabble/ficlet requests is going slowly because they just refuse to be short. *sighs* I'll get to them all though, I promise.
> 
> This one is for [](http://miss-c667.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://miss-c667.livejournal.com/)**miss_c667** who requested:
> 
> Pairing: Your choice, but I think it's kind of obvious : D  
> Line - "I don't care what you say, the monkeys aren't in there"
> 
> This came to 1035 words. I told you had trouble keeping them short.
> 
>  

“I don’t like this.” Angel looked nervously around in the dark, every yell and growl making him twist and turn.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Spike peered through the bars. “‘S not like they’re loose, is it?”

“They might **get** loose.”

“Oh yeah, because not only do they have opposable thumbs, they also own a terrific set of lock picks.” Spike gave the pissed off lions his own growl, which set them off again even louder than before.

“I don’t mean they’d do it themselves, you idiot. But you never know.” Angel kicked the cage door suspiciously. “Someone might have forgotten to lock up properly.” Suddenly his eyes went wide. “Or those monkeys!”

Spike turned his head and gave him the how-daft-are-you look. “The monkeys? The monkeys might open the cages?”

“Well, _they_ have opposable thumbs. And Wes said they were magic monkeys.”

“He said they were brought here magically, Angel.” Spike chuckled as he walked ahead along the path. “I think they’re just regular monkeys.”

“Stop laughing!” Angel hurried up after him. “I just happen to… not… likeanimalsverymuch.”

“What?” Spike stopped so abruptly Angel bumped into him, hitting his nose on Spike’s head.

“Ow! Nothing. I didn’t say anything.” Pinching his nose, Angel glared at him before walking ahead as bravely as he could convince himself he felt.

“You don’t like animals?” Spike gave a little laugh, then ran after him. “Angel, you _are_ a bloody animal.”

“I’m not! I’m a demon!” Angel gave him another glare. “Anyway, they don’t like me.”

Spike shrugged. “They probably know you want to eat them.”

“I don’t eat lions!”

“You should try it.” Spike smacked his lips. “Tastes a bit like kittens, only richer.”

“You have drunken lion’s blood? When?”

“Let’s just say the animals in Africa didn’t like me much either.”

Spike’s voice was almost as dark as their surroundings and once again Angel wished he could convince him to open up about what had happened after he got his soul. Instead he reached for Spike’s hand and gave it a light squeeze before braiding their fingers together. They walked in silence for some time, neither of them mentioning the faint smell of salt in the air.

Suddenly Spike stopped and cocked his head. “Did you hear that? I think it came from over there.”

They peered along the pitch black path that led to the elephant house. A faint sound of chatter could be heard, interrupted by the loud trumpet sound of an elephant in distress.

Angel stood frozen, then started shaking his head frantically. “No. No fucking way.”

“Angel, come on.”

“I don't care what you say, the monkeys aren't in there.” He turned and tried to drag Spike in the other direction, growling when he wouldn’t budge.

“Angel!”

“No! Not the fucking elephants! I hate elephants! They’re big and grey and there’s no fucking way I’m going in there!”

“All right, all right. I’ll just run over there to make sure we’re on the right track and then we call special ops. They’re a bunch of apes anyway, they’ll hit off perfectly.” He moved to leave but Angel held on tight to his hand.

“I don’t want you to go. What if…” Angel seemed to be studying the tips of his shoes with great interest. “…I don’t know… they attack?”

“Then I’ll run like the wind.” Pressing his body tight against Angel’s, Spike stroked his chest, then moved his right hand down to cup him lightly. “They’re just animals, Angel. Not demons.”

“They might be. I remember these flying monkeys in Sunnydale that…”

Spike cut off Angel’s ramblings with a deep kiss. “They’re just monkeys, ok?”

“Ok.” Angel didn’t sound very convinced but he did let go off Spike’s hand, gazing after him as he trotted down the path, soon disappearing into the darkness.

Angel felt like he had been waiting for hours, even though he knew it had probably only been a few minutes. Finally he started to edge his way along the dark path, nervously looking to both sides, expecting those monkeys, which he was pretty sure were magical whatever they said, to jump out at him any time. A crackle to his left made him twist around only to be tackled from the right.

Tumbling around on the patch of grass he fought frantically only slowing down when a loud yelp brought him to his senses. Grabbing the creature's arms he pinned it down beneath him.

“Spike?” Not that he didn’t know.

“Yes! Bloody hell, Angel. You punched my nose in, you twat! Now get off!” But his struggle had seized to be as violent and was more of a pushing really. Into his groin.

“Well, why the hell did you jump on me like that?” Angel grinded his cock into the black denim clad ass beneath him. “You sca… I mean, you startled me, you idiot.”

“Aaww, was the big bad vampire scared of the dark?” Spike twisted until he was lying on his back looking up at said vampire looming over him. “Want me to kiss it all be…”

Angel shut him up, lips against lips, then slipping a wet tongue inside Spike’s mouth. The kiss got deeper and then more desperate as they started to tear each other’s clothes off. Soon their coats were tossed to the side along with their shirts and pants, shoes kicked somewhere into the bushes. The bushes they became very glad were there as a group of soldiers trotted by on the graveled path. Lying completely still they waited until they could hear yells and the chattering of monkeys from the elephant house.

“How…?”

Spike raised an eyebrow at him. “Cell phone. Called them while I was in there.”

“Oh. Maybe we should…” Angel looked around for his pants but Spike grabbed him by the neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

“Not bloody likely. Now fuck me or you’ll have to go looking for that monkey’s arse.”

“Like I could tell the difference.” Angel grinned and sucked on the tongue offered to him. Somehow Spike could make him forget that he was butt naked in the middle of a zoo filled with mad animals.

Was that a tiger he smelled? 


End file.
